Proverbs

1. I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to. --- Oscar Wilde

2. Your Opera is very nice. Someday I'd like to set it to music --- L. Van Beethoven

3. There is no excellent beauty which hath not some strangeness in the porportion --- Francis Bacon

4. The deepest sin against the human mind is believing things without evidence --- Thomas Huxley.

5. It is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them --- Adlai Stevenson

6. His mind is not for rent to any God or government --- Neil Pert.

7. Once a man, like the sea, I raged; once a woman, like the earth, I gave. And there is, of course more earth than sea --- Peter Gabriel.

8. No one worth possessing can be quite passessed --- Sara Teasda

9. In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer --- Camus.

10. No one is free who is a slave to the body --- Seneca

11. Never am I less alone than when I am by myself, never am I more active than when I appear to do nothing - Marcus Cato.

12. In Famine Street, there is nothing left but the heart to eat --- Edith Sitwell

13. The position of woman in a society provides an exact measure of the development of that society - Gustav Geiger

14. Beauty is not so much a quality of the object beheld, as an effect in the beholder - Benedict Spinoza

15. I never wonder to see men wicked, but i often wonder not to see them ashamed - Swift

16. There is no need for man and no demand for man in nature; it is complete without him - William Graham Sumner.

17. What a stranger he is who is surprised at anything which happens in life - Marcus Aurelius

18. Common sense is not so common - Voltaire

19. The vanity of being known to be entrusted with a secret is generally one of the chief motives to disclose it - Samuel Johnson

20. The music teacher came twice each week to bridge the awful gap between Dorothy and Chopin --- George Ade.

21. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee -- Abraham Lincoln.

22. Parents who fear the results of their children's exposure to homosexuals seem to have little faith in the attactiveness of heterosexuality -- Gloria Steinem.

23. I earnestly ask my sisters to keep clear of the jargon about the rights of women which urges women to do all that men do, merely because men do it, without regard to whether this is the best that women can do - Florence Nightingale.

24. God created Adam master and lord of all creatures, but Eve spoiled all --- Martin Luther

25. No civilized person ever goes to bed the same day they got up -- Richard Harding Davis

26. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, the pessimist fears this is true --- James Branch Cabell.

27. We are mad, not only individually, but nationally. We check manslaughter and isolated murders, but what of war and the much vaunted act of slaughtering whole peoples? --- Seneca

28. Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends --- Alexander Pope

29. It is a shabby, genteel sentiment which makes men believe that they are degenerated angels rather than elevated apes -- William Reade

30. Observation, no old age, brings wisdom --- Publitius Syrus

31. There was no respect for youth when i was young and now that i'm old, there's no respect for age -- J.B. Priestly

32. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat -- Lily Tomlin

33. All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few --- Stendhal

34. You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea --- John Noveen

35. A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are --- Victor Lownes

36. We who are liberal and progressive know that the poor are our equals in every sense except that of being equal to us --- Lionel Trilling

37. I think think; Therefore i think i am --- Ambrose Bierce

38. Philosopy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing --- Ambrose Bierce

39. How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers --- Gioacchino Rossini

40. Woe to him inside a nonconformist clique who does not conform with nonconformity --- Eric Hoffer.

41. I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize --- Sha....

42. This muck heaves and palpitates. It is mutidirectional and it has a mayor --- Donald Bathelme (on New York)

43. The chief objection to playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player --- G.B. Shaw

44. The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists -- which is why they invented Hell --- Bertrand Russell

45. Morality is simply the attitude we adopt toward people we personally dislike --- Oscar Wilde

46. Traditional morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99% of them are wrong --- H.L. Menchen

47. Those who have some means thnik that the most important thing in the world is love. The poor know that it is money --- Gerald Brenan

48. Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman --- G.B. Shaw

49. A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer --- Dean Acheson

50. Dont knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone i love --- Woody Allen

51. Since the law prohibits the keeping of wild animals and pets are too passive for me, i prefer to remain unmarried --- Karl Kraus

52. A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it --- Oscar Wilde

53. Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished - J.W. Von Gothe

54. Marriage: A friendship recognized by the police - Robert Louis Stevenson

55. Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage - Ambrose Bierce

56. Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there? - Herb Caen

57. Liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them - Lenny Bruce

58. Laziness is simply the habit of resting before you get tired - Jules Renard

59. Lawyers, I suppose, were children once - Charles Lamb

60. If law school is so hard to get through, how come there are so many lawyers? - Calvin Trillin

61. Lawsuit: a machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage - Ambrose Bierce

62. Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn't believe he is dead - H.L. Mencken

63. Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem - John Galsworthy

64. Today's literature: prescriptions written by patients - Karl Kraus

65. Heinrich Heine so loosened the corset of the German languae that today every little salesman can fondle her breasts - Karl Kraus

66. If I return people's greetings, I do so only to give them their greetings back - Karl Kraus

67. A hunter is a man who, every now and then, simply has to go out and kill something - Stephen Leacock

68. No one ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the American public - H.L. Mencken

69. There is always an easy solution to every human problem: neat, plausible, and wrong - H.L. Mencken

70. Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies - H.L. Mencken

71. The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits - H.L. Mencken

72. The great artists of the world are never puritans and seldom even ordinarily respectable - H.L.M.

73. Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey - H.L.M.

74. If the average man is made in God's image, then a man such as Beethoven is clearly superior to God - H.L. Mencken

75. There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity ofr happiness - H.L. Mencken

76. Man weeps to think that he will die so soon, woman, that she was born so long ago - H.L. Mencken

77. Lord, grant that i may always desire more than i can accomplish - Michelangelo

78. A man paints with his brains and not with his hand - Michelangelo

79. The perpetual abstacle to human advancement is custom - John Stuart Mill

80. The great creative individual is capable of more wisdom and virtue than collective man can ever be - John Stuart Mill

81. My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night - Edna St. Vincent Millay

82. It's not true that life's one damn thing after another; it's one damn thing over and over again - Edna St. Vincent Millay

83. Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators - Olin Miller

84. You can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd - Roger Miller

85. Love is the only circumstance in which the female is pardoned for sexual activity - Kate Millet

86. For every artist with something to say but the inability to say it well, there are two who could say something well if they had anything to say- Paul Mills

87. To my embarrassment, i was born in bed with a lady - Wilson Mizner

88. Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave - Wilson Mizner

89. A fellow who's always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions - Wilson Mizner

90. Gambling: a sure way of getting nothing for something - Wilson Mizner

91. I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education - Wilson Mizner

92. War hath no fury like a non-combatant - Charles Montague

93. Nothing is so firmly believed as that which is least known - Michel de Montaigne

94. We should weep for men at their birth, not at their death - Baron de Montesquieu

95. A man always has 2 reasons for doing something, a good reason and the real reason - J.P. Morgan

96. The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking - Christopher Morley

97. There is only one success, and that is to be able to spend life in your own way - Christopher Morley

98. People are strange when you're a stranger, faces look ugly when you're alone. Women seem wicked when you're unwanted, streets are uneven when you're down - Jim Morrison

99. Cancel my subscription to the resurrection - Jim Morrison

100. It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument - William McAdoo

101. If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work - Ogden Nash

102. The thoughtless are rarely wordless - Howard Newton

103. Very little is known of the war of 1812 because the Americans lost it - Eric Nicol

104. He who has a why to live can bearalmost any how - Friedrich Nietzsche

105. The tragic lesson of guilty men walking free in this country has not been lost on the criminal community - Rickhard Nixon

106. What are our schools for if not indoctrination against communism? - Richard Nixon

107. The Italians, you can't find one who's honest - Richard Nixon

108. Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a bucket of swill - George Orwell

109. My life has seemed like one long obstacle course, with me as its chief obstacle - Jack Paar

110. Don't look back, something might be gaining on you - Satchel Paige

111. I never failed to convince an audience that the best thing they could do was to go away - Thomas Peacock

112. Marriage is the sole cause of divorce - Laurence J. Peter

113. In most courts, a man is assumed guilty until proven influential - Laurence J. Peter

114. Most hierarchies were established by men who monopolize the upper levels, thus depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence - Laurence J. Peter

115. It is fear that first brought god into the world - Petronius

116. Oh my soul, do not aspire to immortal life, but exhaust the limits of the possible - Pindar

117. There is no worse heresy than that the office sanctifies the holder of it - Lord Acton

118. Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely - Lord Acton

119. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry - George Ade

120. The gods help them that help themselves - Aesop

121. The greatest thing that you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return - Eden Ahbez

122. Money is round; it rolls away - Sholom Aleichem

123. A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized - Fred Allen

124. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me Fred Allen

125. What's on your mind, if you'll forgive the overstatement - Fred Allen

126. The last time i saw Ray, he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand - Fred Allen

127. Most of the time i don't have much fun; the rest of the time, i don't have any fun at all-Woody Allen

128. Bisexuality immediatley doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night - Woody Allen

129. I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens - Woody Allen

130. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, i want to achieve it through not dying - Woody Allen

131. I'm afraid of the dark and suspicious of the light - Woody Allen

132. The glory of writing is that it forces us out of ourselves into the lives of others - Sherwood Anderson

133. He who hesitates is lost - Anonymous

134. If everything is coming yourway, you're probably going the wrong way down a one way street - anonymous

135. Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them - Aristotle

136. There is no right way to do the wrong thing - Oren Arnold

137. Every man is worth just as much as the things with which he busies himself are worth - Marcus Aurelius

138. It is not death that a man should fear, but never beginning to live - Marcus Aurelius

139. Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed - Francis Bacon

140. Laws are spider webs through which big flies escape and little ones get caught - Honore de Balzac

141. When in Turkey, do as the turkeys do Honore de Balzac

142. Is importance nothing? The respect of fools, the amazement of children, the envy of the rich, the scorn of the wise - Barnave

143. Nothing is really work unless you'd rather be doing something else - James M. Barrie

144. I'm not young enough to know everything - James M. Barrie

145. The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have to be good - John Barrymore

146. Absence makes the heart grow fonder - Thomas H. Bayly

147. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make - The Beatles

148. It's not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them - Beaumarchais

149. To give an accurate account of that period would take a far less brilliant pen than mine - Max Beerbohm

150. Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves - Brendan Behan

151. It took me 15 years to discover i had no talent for writing, but i couldn't give it up, because by that time, i was too famous - Robert Benchley

156. Drawing on my fine command of lanugage, i said nothing - Robert Benchley

157. Consistancy requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago - Bernard Berenson

158. Governments last as long as the undertaxed can defend themselves against the overtaxed - Bernard Berenson

159. Art is I; science is we - Claude Bernard

160. You can observe a lot by just watching - Yogi Berra

161. It aint over till it's over - Yogi Berra

162. Religion: A daughter of hope and fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the unknowable - Ambrose Bierce

163. Cynic: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be - Ambrose Bierce



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